Excuses
by 2Padfoot00Moony7
Summary: Sirius wants to tell James... Remus doesn't. Pure RemusSirius randomness!


Title: Excuses 

Warning: Slash. RemusXSirius. Very bad, crude humour.

I do not own Harry Potter and never will (much to my disappointment)

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S: Hello Remus! 

R: What do you want Sirius?

S: I really think we should tell them!

R: No!

S: Why not?

R: How many times do we have to go through this?

S: Just James, Moony!

R: No!

S: Please.

R: No.

S: He'll figure it out anyway!

R: How!? We've been careful!

S: Yes but he has the map!

R: So? It doesn't show what people are doing!

S: But he'll know were not in the library!

R: And?

S: He'll know we're in a broom closet together!

R: James won't notice!

S: He's nearly caught us four times!

R: Nearly Sirius, not has, nearly.

S: Yes but what happens when he does catch us?!

R: He won't!

S: He'll be upset because we lied to him!

R: Padfoot…

S: And he'll be annoyed because we haven't told him!

R: Padfoot…

S: And I hate lying to him!

R: Padfoot…

S: Infact, I feel guilty for lying!

R: PADFOOT!

S: What?

R: We're not telling him and that's final!

S: Yes but why not?

R: The truth would probably scar him!

S: Why?

R: He'd know what we did on his bed!

S: True. At least he wouldn't think we're joking!

R: Yes but _he nearly caught us on his bed! _

S: Good! I wish he had caught us!

R: I don't.

S: I do.

R: SIRIUS !

S: What?

R: Move your hand now!

S: Sorry.

R: NOT UP!

S: You like it really…

R: Someone could see!

S: I know. Why don't you want anyone to find out about us?

R: Sirius…

S: Are you ashamed of me?

R: No of course not!

S: Why then?

R: Have you ever heard of a gay werewolf?

S: Nobody knows you're a werewolf!

R: Yes but it's the principal Sirius!

J: Hi guys! What're you arguing about now?

S: Hey James!

R: Hi James and Sirius is just annoying me.

J: Nothing new then!

S: Hey…

R: Well it's true!

S: James there's something we need to tell you.

R: Sirius don't you dare!

J: Go on Sirius.

R: No sex for a month!

J: How the hell can you stop him from sleeping around?

S: Well you see…

R: SPELLS! I know some spells!

J: Remus shut up. Go on Sirius.

S: Well you know the other night…

R: PADFOOT!

J: When?

S: When you were complaining about your bed.

J: Yeah?

R: It was Sirius and a girl.

S: No it wasn't.

R: Yes it was!

S: No it wasn't!

R: YES IT WAS!

S: Fine then. You know when we go to the library?

J: Yeah to do work…

S: Well we actually go to broom cupboards.

R: To help Filch!

S: Moony!

R: Padfoot I'm warning you!

J: Go on Sirius just ignore Moony, I am.

S: Right. Remember when I slept in Moony's bed?

J: Vividly.

S: Well I aren't scared of storms.

R: I am.

S: No your not.

R: Yes I am.

J: Sirius what are you trying to tell me?

R: Nothing.

S: Remember when we got a shower together?

J: You shower together everyday.

S: Yeah. It's because -

R: I'm afraid of water!

S: What?

J: Since when?

R: New phobia.

S: Right. Remember when you came into the common room that night?

J: And you two had been snogging because you go out?

S?

R!

S: How?

R: Crap.

J: I've known about you two for ages!

S: Since when?

J: Since you forgot the silencing spell.

R: You were asleep.

J: I wasn't.

S: You were.

J: And two straight guys don't spend three hours in a broom closet together.

R: …

J: Sirius would never EVER willingly help Filch.

S:D

J: Remus, you love storms and you went swimming yesterday!

S: So if you knew, why did you play along with our excuses?

J: I didn't want to get in the way.

R: Oh.

S: Are you annoyed, disgusted or upset?

J: Should I be?

S: Are you scarred for life?

J: Yes. You broke my bed.

S: Yeah. Sorry 'bout that.

J: I forgive you but my bed doesn't.

R: Good. We'll apologise to your bed Prongsy.

J: It'll survive.

R: Don't tell anyone else though! Not even Peter or Lily!

J: …okay.

R: Good.

S: So you're okay with us?

J: I haven't complained yet have I ?

R: So when did you figure it out?

J: Couple of weeks ago, I pieced it together.

R: I thought you said we forgot a silencing spell?

J: Yeah. You did, that's how I knew I was right.

S: Hey Remus?

R: Yeah Padfoot?

S: I WAS RIGHT!

R: About what Padfoot?

S: I said James would figure it out!

J: It was Lily really.

R&S: JAMES!

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Excuses for excuses!

Review xD 


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